I made a doctor appointment finally for the end of the month.� By then I will be 8 or 9 �weeks.� Everything is going well for me, so far.� Today it hit me after I dropped off my son at school- that lonely pregnancy feeling.� Even my first healthy pregnancy before I knew about miscarriage felt lonely at times.� Experiencing pregnancy loss and then doing it all again and feeling like you are taking a "risk" feels even more lonely.� Iapos;m feeling more an dmore pregnant- my skin is stretching and itchy, body parts rub together now when i walk that didnapos;t rub together before, I get nausea sporadically when my blood sugar drops too low.
I actually broke down and took a test on Saturday.� Iapos;ve known I was pregnant and just couldnapos;t really get myself to take the test.� Testing and then having the bleeding again would make it "real"- yet another loss.� I got a strong positive right away...as I knew I would.� I saved the second test in the box to test again before going to the doctor in order to avoid that embarrassment last time and testing at home, getting to the doctor a few days later, and then testing negative�at the office, having her�look at me like I was nuts and made it all up.� That loss was�at 4.5 weeks and was over before it was even confirmed.
So now I am either 6 or 7 weeks along.� Iapos;m unsure due to an irregular cycle last month so the sono will also help gage what week I am in.� I have made it further than my last three pregnancies which ended in losses due to being on 5 mg folic acid and baby aspirin�so I am hopeful
Just needed to unload my head since I have not posted about being pregnant again in my journals to my F-list.� Thanks for listening.
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