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When I was a teenager I was a size eight. I was also a dancer and taking classes on an almost daily basis. I was working out four days a week with weight lifting, aerobics and swimming on weekends. Size eight is not that thin considering how active I was. Here is the weird part- I saw doctors then who told me I should be ten pounds smaller than I was. Meaning that at my smallest, I was not small enough for the mainstream... And I was SKINNY. I had a toned body- I was fucking hot. I literally stopped traffic several times. But doctors told me, lose weight. After age twenty, I got into a stable relationship and my dancing fizzled. I was doing half of what I once was. I gained a lot of weight. I went up to a size twelve, just bordering on plus size. At age 26 I gained A LOT of weight. I was diagnosed with AVM and I stopped excersizing altogether. Aside from a tiny bit of aerobics and weights, I was sitting still most of the time. At a size 18, I decided I was too fat and began trying to lose weight. I saw doctors and nutritionists. I followed a simple eating plan; no starches, no sweets, no sugar (which I have never bee into anyway) and low (but not no) carbohydrates. Very small portions. I started working out at a health club every other day and doing pilates at home. It wasnapos;t working. I upped the plan, eating less and restricting more, working out more. I lost fifteen pounds. Then... I couldnapos;t lose anymore. No matter how hard I tried. Refusing to do stupid shit like liquid diets and pills and all that garbage (I am not a masochist.) I found I could not lose more than 15 pounds which was not even noticeable on my frame (huge boobs.) I have found that to lose any more than 15 pounds I have to STARVE MYSELF, which is stupid. I have decided to just be fat. I am working on being a happy and proud fat woman though, which is a lot harder. I donapos;t lose or gain any weight so I can eat what I want, which is nice. I am still careful though, even still. I only eat meat once a week. I live on fish, rice, veggies and curry, and in small portions. I only snack out during parties. I have not had a soda in years. I drink herbal tea, black coffee and crystal light. I have aerobic hand weights on my desk so that I can work on my arms when I am reading on the computer.

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So, WHY AM I FAT??????? GOD DAMMMMMITTTTTT

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Ok. Sorry. Lost it there for a minute. But considering my eating habits I should weigh about four pounds.

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